From Chengdu to Hong Kong and then to France, I have come to realize that “integrating into mainstream society” has always been a false proposition.
In Hong Kong, I never fully integrated either. I was always a free and happy outsider. I did not have many local friends; most of my friends, like me, came from different cultural backgrounds. But that did not stop me from enjoying the world.
After moving to France, differences in language, culture, food, ethnicity, and other factors have made me feel that “integrating” into mainstream society is a task with an extremely poor return on investment—and one that is nearly impossible. At least, that is true for people like me who moved here as adults.
Based on my experience living in Hong Kong, rather than going to great lengths to integrate into mainstream society, it is better to build a comfortable little world of your own. To use an analogy, those of us living far from home and from the cultures in which we were raised are like small boats, often drifting wherever the wind takes us. But with the following key anchors to support us, we can still find happiness.
A job that gives you a sense of purpose and accomplishment: Being recognized at work makes you feel that the effort you put in every day is meaningful and worthwhile.
Financial stability: Being financially independent and free helps you live the life you want.
A mutually supportive partner: For those of us venturing out into the world, having someone by our side and a stable home base is very important.
A few close friends: Having friends who are on the same wavelength—especially those in circumstances similar to your own, former classmates, and so on—makes mutual understanding easier. You can keep in touch and occasionally get together for a meal or drinks. I have to admit that local friends really cannot relate in the same way.
Once you have this little world, you can use the rest of your time and energy to explore and enjoy life—to travel, pursue hobbies, improve yourself, and so on. I hope everyone can have a free, joyful, and fulfilling life.
What are your thoughts on “integrating”?